England lose in Wellington

New Zealand v England, T20 (second of five), The Cake Tin, 3 November 2019

Scorecard

It is always a pleasure to welcome England to these shores, but the publication of the schedule a few months ago registered a high on the apprehension scale among the cricketing faithful. International cricket at the start of November? We did a collective impression of Sgt Wilson from Dad’s Army, asking “do you think that’s wise?”. The New Zealand climate is a capricious thing at the best of times, but give it international cricket to mess with and it becomes as flighty as a granny fed champagne for breakfast at Christmas.

For this reason, the tour has largely been kept out of the South Island, after the first T20 in Christchurch last Friday. (The third game is in Nelson, but that doesn’t count; it is on the same latitude as Wellington, but whereas the capital looks south, nothing between it and the penguins, Nelson is a north-facing suntrap, generating more vitamin D than is good for anybody). Of course, the weather has made fools of this protective scheduling. Unprecedented 30-degree temperatures swept the South Island today, and some of the North too. You have already guessed where the lowest maximum in New Zealand today was registered: the Kelburn weather station, which overlooks the Cake Tin. Mind you we would have settled for that 18 degrees if offered, and it was wise to play the game in the afternoon. I write in what would have been the mid-innings break and a swirling mist is enveloping the house as if it were captioned “London 1862”.

The two teams had an experimental feel about them. For New Zealand, Kane Williamson is missing the series because of a hip injury (but we all staying as calm as we can in the circumstances). Pleasingly, Trent Boult has made it a priority to play in the Plunket Shield rather than the first three of these games. England are also prioritising the tests. Root, Buttler, Archer, Stokes and Woakes are all missing the T20s but will be here for the tests later in the month, which is the right way round.

Joe Denly also misses the T20 series through injury. I hope that he is fit for the tests. If not, he may not get another chance, having been written off prematurely by some despite creditable performances in the Ashes series. Denly’s grandmother was kind to me as a lunchtime playground supervisor at Herne Bay Infant School in the sixties, so you will find nothing that isn’t positive about him in these columns.

England won the toss and put New Zealand in, which had worked a treat in their easy victory at Hagley Oval on Friday. Sam Curran, who has progressed from promising newcomer to senior bowler with only a scant intervening period, opened along with one of the two debutants, Saqib Mahmood of Lancashire, who, by way of welcome to international cricket, went for six twice in his first over, once by Guptill and once by Munro. The latter was lbw to Curran in the next over, after which Pat Brown of Worcestershire, playing his second international game, replaced Mahmood. He was also given a reminder that he had taken a big step up, with 15 coming from his first four deliveries. He should have had Seifert caught next ball, but Vince put down what looked a straightforward chance at backward point.

We last came across James Vince at Canterbury just over a month ago, looking I thought a bit doleful as he came out to bat having just learned that he had fallen well down the test pecking order. He would look back on that as a time of celebration compared to the nightmare day he had today. That was the first of three chances he put down. The second would have been the catch of the season and he did well to dive and get a hand to it as he ran from long on to long off. The third was on the mid-wicket boundary and looked as easy as the first. To be kind, both may have come to him straight out of the sun. A four-ball one rounded off his day. That will happen to anybody occasionally, even a player as good as Vince undoubtedly is. I hope he resisted the temptation to buy a Lotto ticket though; not today.

It wasn’t only Vince who had a bad day in the field. Billings couldn’t hold a high gloved chance from Guptill, Curran might have taken a hard one at backward square leg and Malan dropped the easiest of the lot in the last over. New Zealand missed nothing and that was the main difference today.

Colin De Grandhomme came in at No 4. One day he will stay there for the rest of the innings and put the game so far out of reach that it won’t be worth the other side coming out to bat. Today he made 28 from 12, giving those that followed a little time to breath.

I had just written a note that England’s bowling inexperience was showing when the Lewis Gregory, the other debutant, came on and took a wicket first ball. I had hoped that Somerset’s other representative, Tom Banton, would play today. I suspect that in twenty years’ time it would be something to say that you had seen his first international appearance.

Chris Jordan bowled magnificently, with a slower ball that is one of the best in the business. It is a reflection of England’s ODI strength that they could omit as fine a bowler from the World Cup squad. Sam Curran was also very good. Was the total of 176 for eight enough? Opinion was divided in the members’ lounge, “about par” a common phrase.

England began in the worst possible way as Jonny Bairstow dinked an easy catch to mid on off Southee. The ball may have held up a little, sending the stock of the home total up a few points. Vince’s unhappy day ended soon after, bringing Eoin Morgan in. There followed the most interesting passage of play in the game. New Zealand fed his strength square on the offside, placing, at one point, three backward points, sometimes polishing the apple of temptation by removing third man. Morgan responded by cutting over the top of them to the effect of 32 from 17 balls when he was out to Santner, whose strategy was more orthodox. Morgan was caught at long on by De Grandhomme, on almost the exact patch of turf on which Adam Milne dived to catch him in the World Cup game here four years ago. Then, it precipitated a collapse like an Antarctic ice shelf from global warming. Today the consequences were not as spectacular, but it was as significant a turning point.

Morgan was the first of five England batsmen to be caught on or near the Cake Tin’s long straight boundaries, a sequence that drove the English press contingent into social media apoplexy. Why aim for the long straight boundaries when the short square ones are available? Could they have been taking out the frustration of a late night watching the rugby? I thought Morgan’s post-match analysis to be more reasonable. He praised the New Zealand bowlers for forcing the England batsmen to hit straight, which they did better than the England bowlers. Why, after all, would a batsman hit to a long boundary if he could choose a short one?

In defence of the Cake Tin, though it is an oval, the square boundaries are not ridiculously short. It is a decent shape for a cricket field, which is why it is not so good for rugby and football’s rectangles, from which most spectators are at some distance.

The game seemed to be settled with the required rate nearing 12 an over after 13 overs. With four balls of his spell left, Ish Sodhi would have been pretty happy with two for 15. Jordan hit those four deliveries for a four followed by three sixes, to bring England right back into it. Two more boundaries followed before Jordan became the latest to hole out in the deep, for 36 from 19. A six from Gregory, who had a good debut, was the last of the resistance. The winning margin of 21 runs made it look a touch easier than it felt when first Morgan, then Jordan were hammering the bowling.

T20 is notoriously difficult to predict, but three-two would be a safe enough prediction as long as one isn’t tied down to who has three and who two.

This was an enjoyable game, and a good start to my international cricket watching (the game in Singapore not withstanding), which will see India in Wellington in 2020 and me in Sydney for the New Year test between Australia and New Zealand.

England v Sri Lanka, World Cup, Cake Tin, 1 March 2015

Scorecard

The crowd on their way to the Cake Tin on Sunday morning comprised three groups, all easily identifiable.

The Sri Lankans were clearly going to enjoy themselves, whatever happened.

The English bore the grim countenance of a congregation on its way to hear a particularly severe Calvinist minister deliver an all-day sermon about them all being sinners and having to live a lifetime of repentance.

The New Zealanders just wanted a cricketing equivalent of a lie down in a darkened room. We were still getting over our traumatic Saturday when the national blood pressure rose to a level seen before only during the last ten minutes of the 2011 Rugby World Cup final. As New Zealand staggered to a one-wicket victory over Australia, the nation experienced more twists of fate and plucks on its heartstrings than can be found in the entire works of Dickens. No more excitement please, not today.

For the English it was a return to Dunkirk a week after evacuation, the memories of devastation and failure so raw. Like last week, they won the toss and batted.

Lasith Malinga opened the bowling, which is always something to see. I am no closer to working out how he bowls the ball so straight with his arm at that angle than I was when I first saw him. In a darts team he would clear the pub. Every time I watch Malinga I am reminded that had he been English he wouldn’t have made it to a county second XI. His extraordinary gift would have been coached out of him before his sixteenth birthday. There were yorkers to order, but perhaps the edge is coming off his pace; batsmen seem to get after him a bit more often these days.

England set off well and there was no collapse, though Ballance and Morgan are still out of form. Moeen Ali took a cheap hundred off the Scots earlier in the week, but does not look convincing as an opener against better opponents.

Joe Root was the hero, England’s youngest World Cup centurion, which might lead one to think that he is still a mere boy. In fact, he is the same age as Pitt the Younger was when he became prime minister, which says something about England’s undistinguished history in the competition.

Root reached his hundred at exactly a run a ball and blended the orthodox with the unorthodox well towards the end of the innings. If there is any consolation for England supporters it is that the batting can be built around Root for the next decade. Buttler did well too, despite being clonked on the swede by Malinga first ball.

309 was a good score, but not as good as England thought it was, Since the game a great deal has been written in the UK press about England’s obsession with statistics, often dodgy ones in that they take in many matches played before the limitation on boundary fielders was reduced, so loading the dice in favour of the batsmen. It’s as indicative as calculating travelling times between venues on the basis that they will be going by sailing ship.

There was certainly drift in the middle overs, but the target was reached with late-innings acceleration. The problem is that there was a target at all. It should be up to the batsmen to work out what is the best that can be achieved in the circumstances and then to strive for it. Another 30 runs mid-innings might have made all the difference.

And then perhaps it wouldn’t. As early as the fourth over, when Root at first slip dropped Thirimanne, thus cancelling out his own century in an instant, there was an inevitability about proceedings. Most of the writers blamed Buttler for the drop, as he had started going for the catch then pulled out. This supports my long-held view that it is always worth picking the best keeper, but Root should have caught it no matter what.

Paul Downton should buy Eoin Morgan a bracelet etched with the phrase “What would Brendon McCullum do?” So, when Sri Lanka lost their first wicket at 100 in the 19^th over, and Kumar Sangakkara, scorer of 13,000 ODI runs, came to the crease what would McCullum have done? I’m pretty sure that I know.

He would have twigged that if Sangakkara were allowed to get established he would be mightily hard to shift and would probably take Sri Lanka most of the way to victory. Therefore, he had to stop this happening and would have put on whichever of Boult or Southee was hottest that day, stationed some close catchers and told his bowler to attack, attack, attack.

He would not have put on Joe Root, occasional purveyor of rarely turning off spin, and thought himself crafty in getting through a few overs. He would have known that this would simply be to offer valet parking to one of the greatest batsmen to walk the Earth. Sangakkara scored from every one of the first 20 balls he faced.

Moeen Ali bowled tidily enough in an unbroken ten-over spell and took Dilshan’s wicket, the only one to fall. But he batsmen cruised through his spell at five an over, just right to set up the final push.

It was as if, in homage to the late Leonard Nimoy who had died a couple of days earlier, Morgan was observing Starfleet’s temporal prime directive of not interfering in events so as to change their outcome. Sri Lanka’s victory was already written in the World Cup timeline, so he wasn’t going to do a damn thing that would change it.

This is indeed the summer of Sangakkara. A double century in the test and two at the Cake Tin. It has been such a treat. This was the quickest of his 23 ODI hundreds, though it never seemed faster than languid. It was Shakespeare knocking off a sonnet, Rembrandt a self-portrait. Of course, the need that all the England quick bowlers had to test the theory that he was susceptible to the long hop on leg stump helped him along too.

My Orange County correspondent, a keen and knowledgeable Beatles fan, made a rare visit to the cricket and I must impress on him that Sangakkara batting is the equivalent of McCartney wandering out there and strumming the highlights from Revolver or Rubber Soul.

The England fielders wore a defeated air by the time Sri Lanka were halfway to the target. Run outs appeared the only way in which England might have broken the partnership, but on one of the few occasions the stumps were hit the batsmen took an overthrow.

The end came in the 48^th over, though it would have been earlier had the batsmen not lost a little timing at the end, or had Sangakkara felt like it. Thirimanne was 139 not out at the end, a fine innings, but today he was Salieri to Sangakkara’s Mozart.

The joyous cacophony of the Sri Lankan fans added to the day. It reminded me of West Indies matches in England in the seventies, particularly the Monday afternoon at the Oval in ’76 when Greenidge and Fredericks flayed England and Tony Greig grovelled before the Caribbean supporters on the western terrace.

The ludicrous structure of the competition means that England’s convincing impression of the Italian army in full retreat notwithstanding, they should still qualify for the quarter-finals, which is outrageous. Defeat by Afghanistan and elimination would be cricketing justice.

New Zealand v England, World Cup, 20 February 2015, the Cake Tin

New Zealand v England, World Cup, 20 February 2015, the Cake Tin

The other day Corey Anderson said that the New Zealand team was a “juggernaut”, which in Britain describes a large truck. That makes England the rabbit transfixed by the headlights, unable to evade the inevitable squashing.

It was sheer joy at the Cake Tin yesterday. For a start, it was sweltering, a word we use sparingly in Wellington. My Khandallah correspondent, who has spent her life under the scorching sun of the upper North Island, passed the first two hours charting the approach of the shade towards our seats.

And I saw the best one-day bowling that I have ever seen; the most spectacular innings I have ever seen; and captaincy so rich in innovation and imagination that it moved me.

McCullum’s field-setting was worth the price of admission. He makes Mike Brearley—who once stationed a helmet at short extra cover—appear cautious and unresourceful by comparison.

The New Zealand captain is in the process of rewriting the one-day captaincy manual. There were three close catchers, then four, then five, then—for Morgan—six. It was breath-taking. McCullum rejects orthodoxy as if it were carrying the plague. His strategy is to restrict scoring by taking wickets. Ross Taylor could play for another 20 years if he can stand at first slip all innings.

McCullum’s conception of cricket’s possibilities is different and exciting. If all captains would commit to attack as he does, all fears about the future of 50-over cricket would be allayed. My Life in Cricket Scorecards is no musician, but watching Brendon McCullum lead a cricket team must be what it would have been like watching von Karajan at his peak conducting the Berlin Philharmonic. A little louder from the piccolos, a second gully. Slightly slower cellos, third man move squarer.

Regular wickets kept the pressure on England in the first part of the innings. Eoin Morgan looked as scratchy as a flea-ridden tabby, but is a good player who could relocate his form at any moment. At 104 for three, Morgan and Joe Root seemed to be close to restoring parity. Who would have guessed then that the game had fewer than 20 overs left to run?

They were a bit slow, mainly thanks to a miserly spell of six overs for 17 runs from Daniel Vettori, who reminded me of Derek Underwood. This was partly because Vettori is a highly skilled and very clever slow left-armer, but also because the batsmen were playing his reputation as much as his bowling. Time and time again I saw batsmen retreat into caution against Underwood because of the years they had spent watching the consequences of failure. Joe Root and his generation cannot remember a time when Vettori was anything other than a one-day tourniquet and it shows in their approach.

England appeared to have decided to play Vettori out, but Morgan’s resolve broke and he went for the big straight shot. My correspondent and myself had a perfect view of the ball coming towards us. It appeared to be about to pitch safe just short of the long-on boundary. But Adam Milne lengthened his last couple of strides before leaping full length, taking the ball in two hands in mid-air and landing safely. That was the moment the game turned on.

McCullum struck with the certainty of a lioness stalking a wounded wildebeest. Southee was brought on at once and immediately bowled Taylor with an outswinger so beautiful that Mark Antony would have spurned Cleopatra to kiss it.

Of course, other captains might have brought back their strike bowler against a new batsman, but fewer would have resisted the temptation to save some of that bowler’s overs for the death. They would have settled for 210 for eight. Only McCullum would have also bowled his other strike bowler out at the same time. 123 all out.

Seven wickets fell for nineteen runs. As an overseer of collapses Peter Moores could arrange a job swap with the Greek finance minister. Joe Root barely faced a ball during these overs, an example of the lack of intelligence that characterised England’s day.

Tim Southee was brilliant. Seven for 33 was the best performance for New Zealand in ODIs. His control of the ball and use of the crease could not have been bettered by Alderman, or even Hadlee. Four of the seven were bowled, all with a graze of the off stump (love the flashing bails by the way). The swing was not huge, but with such precision it did not have to be.

There was no doubt that McCullum would go after the bowling. His name and “steady accumulation” are antonyms. But the ferocity and accomplishment was beyond prediction, best recorded in his scoring sequence: 160044444016404606666401W. It was slugging not slogging, the quickest fifty in World Cup history (previous holder: B McCullum). As in every other aspect of the game, McCullum incinerates the text book and does it his way.

Anderson, Finn and Broad are seasoned international bowlers, but the experience of having an opening batsman rampaging down the pitch in the first overs appeared new to them. There was no plan. They didn’t know what to do.

The four consecutive sixes were off Steve Finn in an arc between cover and long off. One worries for Finn for whom, even more than most bowlers, confidence is the glue that holds his game together. Half an hour in the public stocks would have been no more humiliating.

On a desperate day for England, one member of the team deserves special mention. A woolly resident of any field in New Zealand selected at random would have brought more brainpower to the game than Stuart Broad managed. Who knows why, coming in at 110 for seven, he thought that the best way to deal with Southee (five for 28) was to try to belt him over long on? His first ball to McCullum fed the batsman’s signature lofted cut, and the rest of the over allowed the New Zealand captain to set off flying. That Broad should finish the game with a high-wide bouncer that flew over Buttler’s head to the boundary was somehow fitting.

I can barely express how much I enjoyed this game. New Zealand pushing back the boundaries of what is possible. England gloriously hopeless. Just when you think that cricket has given you all it can along comes Brendon McCullum who says “let’s make it a little bit better”.