The marketing people get brainier by the day. New Zealand Cricket’s latest wheeze to get people through the gates is to stage an extract from Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead at the start of each international match. Guildenstern—a sensitive performance by Brendon McCullum—tosses a coin. Rosencrantz—MS Dhoni’s interpretation was as moving as any by an Indian captain in a leading role since the Nawab of Pataudi junior’s groundbreaking Hedda Gabler at Headingley in ‘67—calls heads and wins.
That is the
most reasonable explanation for law-of-probability-defying run of seven tosses
in a row won by the Indian skipper. And a lot of good it has done him. Four
defeats and a tie in the ODIs were followed by a 40-run loss in the first Test
at Eden Park.
Our inbred
pessimism led home supporters to expect payback and it was no surprise to
arrive at the Basin at tea on the first afternoon to find New Zealand all out
for 192, Ishant Sharma six for 51.
Murali Vijay
was out to the last ball of the second over of the reply, unable to get the
gloves out of the way of a Southee delivery that came in with extra bounce. The
odd play and miss aside, the batsmen looked comfortable and it was a bit of a
surprise when Pujara fell leg before to a Boult inswinger just before the end.
As often happens when the side bowling second is defending a small total, the
New Zealand bowlers were bit anxious and too keen to make things happen rather
than concentrating on the basics.
Nightwatchman
Ishant Sharma provided the early entertainment on Saturday with shots of pure
cock-eyed optimism. The fifty partnership came from 73 deliveries. Southee
continues to chip batsmen with the vocabulary of a bowler ten kph faster than
he actually is; Sharma will have made a note of Southee’s view of his
bouncer-avoiding technique, which finished with the batsman flat on his back in
the crease. Sharma was caught behind off Boult trying to repeat a cover drive
for four.
At the other
end, opener Shikhar Dhawan was showing why the Australian writer Chloe Saltau
had recently picked him in her World XI. He cuts like a Savile Row tailor. However,
it was still perplexing a couple of months later to open Wisden to find that Dhawan was one of the Almanack’s five
Cricketers of the Year. The choice of the five is made on their performance in
the previous English season, so how did Dhawan win in a year in which Australia
and New Zealand toured? I had forgotten all about the Champions Trophy, which
is easy to do. He had wowed Wisden
editor Lawrence Booth with a couple of dashing centuries in the group stage, but
it is still cricket’s least-merited accolade since Paul Collingwood’s seven-run
MBE in 2005. The other four Cricketers of the Year were Ryan Harris, Chris
Rogers, Joe Root, and Charlotte Edwards. It is a measure of how the three-nil
result in the 2013 Ashes failed to reflect the narrow gap in talent between the
two sides that two Australians and only one Englishman are named (though the fact
that no one can be a Cricketer of the Year more than once may have influenced
this too). It used to be the case that one of the five would be a county
stalwart. I commend Darren Stevens to you, young Booth.
Here, Dhawan
was out two short of a century, edging a Southee outswinger to Watling. Rohit
Sharma soon followed for a duck to become Jimmy Neesham’s first Test wicket off
as poor a ball as the debutant will ever take one with, a wide half volley that
Sharma dragged on. At 165 for five a degree of parity had been restored, but
India’s new hero, Virat Kohli, was in.
Kohli was
fluent until succoured by a McCullum ruse. Neil Wagner maintained a line a
couple of feet wide of off stump with two short extra covers. For some time
Kohli resisted, but the apple was too big and juicy and the first time he tried
to take a bite Rutherford, the straighter of the two fielders in the trap, took
the catch.
MS Dhoni
joined Ajinkya Rahane at the crease with both preferring to accrue through boundaries.
At mid-afternoon drinks 28 of Rahane’s 38 had come that way, and Dhoni had hit
the first four balls of the preceding over for four. A sensible bowler would
have stayed quiet and tried to blend in with the surroundings, but Wagner
continued to chip the Indian captain, and made himself look mightily stupid by
doing so.
The advent
of the new ball after tea merely accelerated the scoring rate. New Zealand’s only
idea seemed to be to feed Dhoni’s ramp shot in the hope that he might feather
one. So it was a surprise when Dhoni fell to a short ball from Boult that he
could easily have left alone. This brought in Ravindra Jadeja, a Test No 9 with
three first-class triple centuries to his name.
Jadeja
showed no inclination to dig in or run singles and greeted Wagner’s return
to the attack by sending the first two deliveries to the boundary, the second
impishly between slip and gully. He was caught at second slip off the following
ball, all but two of his 26 coming from boundaries.
Rahane was
now ten short of his maiden Test century and will not have been reassured by
the entrance at No 10 of Zaheer Khan, a batsman unable to pass a swash without
attempting to buckle it. Predictably enough he attempted to send the second
ball he received down the Mt Victoria Tunnel. Rahane met the situation calmly,
upping the tempo without risk and two overs later pulled Anderson to the
mid-wicket boundary to join the centurions. With a hooked six he brought up
Wagner’s century a little later, from a mere 22 overs.
Earlier that
over Wagner thought that he had bowled Zaheer, only for a replay to show that
he had no-balled by cutting the return crease with his left foot (he was
bowling round the wicket). My seat high in the Vance Stand looked right down
the line of the violated crease and I am sure that he was bowling one or two no
balls an over in this manner, so had no sympathy for him. Did Wagner shut up?
He did not.
It took a
piece of fielding as classy as the innings itself to dismiss Rahane. Boult
sprinted in from the cover boundary and dived full length, scooping the ball
one-handed an inch from the turf. It contends with Boult’s own flying leap to
dismiss Denesh Ramdin at the Basin late last year as catch of the season.
Another
flurry of eyes-shut slogging from Zaheer took India to a final score of 438, a
lead of 236 with more than three days still to go. As Fulton and Rutherford
came to the crease it was the nature of the defeat that was being debated; would
India have to bat again?; would play go beyond the third day? The fact of
defeat was no more worthy of debate than the setting of the sun.
Peter Fulton
lasted only into the second over when he padded up to a Zaheer Khan inswinger. The
raised finger of umpire Steve Davis cued a lot of rot from the radio commentary
box, where it was agreed that the decision was a travesty. Firstly, had the
decision review system been in operation it would have supported the decision
by showing the ball clipping the off stump. Secondly, any opening batsman
padding up to a swing bowler of Zaheer’s pedigree is asking for all the trouble
that comes to him. It was further evidence that, for all the heroism of Eden
Park last year, Peter Fulton does not have what it takes as a Test opener.
Rutherford
and Williamson shepherded New Zealand to the close, but the football fans present
consoled themselves with the thought that on the morrow they would be able to
watch the rest of the Test and be in their seats at the Cake Tin as the Pheonix
kicked off at 5 pm. If you had told us that the game was almost 72 hours away
from a finish we would have called an ambulance for you, and probably the
police as well.
To be continued.
